I'll be fine, I promise

2011-05-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

Recently, I keep think negative about myself. One thing that troubles me the most is my weight. As the day passes, my confident got slowly replaced by my fats. Sometimes, I even feel that I'm not good enough for anyone.... Fat Ruilin, it's time for you to disappear! People, please give me motivation and encouragement, cause I really need it.

In my world, there's only you. How I wish I'm the only one in your world too.

I hate it when crying is the only way to feel better

2011-05-10T19:59:00.007+08:00

I'm so afraid that you will give up, you will tell me that you're sorry, you've to leave. No matter what happens, I wouldn't give up! It's the first time I choose to be brave, cause I don't want to lose you, I want to fight for my own happiness. I always said time will prove everything, if you still choose to leave, I will wait. Regarless how long it takes, be it months, or even years, I will still wait. I want you to know, I'm serious. Limlisheng, I love you, and only you.

如果你坚持，我便会有了面对一切的勇气
如果你走了，我一直坚持的信念也消失了
我等你，我会一直等你回来。

林凡、一个人生活

2011-04-28T22:37:00.003+08:00

叶子在窗外轻轻摇动
人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我
自从你离开了我变得很软弱
你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我
少了你的陪伴我现在有多寂寞

我想我可以习惯一个人生活
我想我可以假装不曾爱过
冰凉的夜里让眼泪温热我
我想我可以习惯一个人生活
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱你怎么会是这个结果

叶子在窗外轻轻摇动
人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我
自从你离开了我变得很软弱
你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我
少了你的陪伴我现在有多寂寞

我想我可以习惯一个人生活
我想我可以假装不曾爱过
感觉如果要走谁能说 no
我想我可以习惯一个人生活
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱情是个梦而我睡过头

我想我可以习惯一个人生活
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱情是个梦而我睡过头

Just you, only you

2011-04-24T09:07:00.003+08:00

They probably think I'm mad. For one moment, I said I'm over him, and the next thing I do, was muttering away to myself, his name, his favourites and anything that's related to him. What if I called him, tell him how miserable my feeling is, how incomplete I am, will he picks up and just comfort me? No, never..... He hates me....

Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming. But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness.

不再轻易让谁走进我的生命

2011-04-20T19:58:00.010+08:00

Today's the 3rd day of my orientation. I'm in Helios, subtribe 3. We had games for both yesterday and today, and it was all under the HOT sun. Guess what, I got sun burn, ehhh ): However, I starts to love HMS & Ngee Ann~ Ngee Ann people are awesome ♥

I can hide the pain and make others think that I can move on, but I can never deny the truth that the person who failed and hurt me, is still the same person I wish to love me.

不就是一个人守着黑夜过。

2011-04-14T04:08:00.001+08:00

I drink till I almost got drunk yesterday. Reached home around 2:30am, and I tried to force myself to sleep, but I couldn't. It's a sleepless night again, despite the help of alcohol. It's the same love that makes me laugh, makes me cry.

You made me feel special and then you disappeared.

2011-04-12T07:36:00.008+08:00

My aunt (:

Stayed at home for almost 1full week. Didn't know where to go, don't know who to go out with. So I watched approximate 200 episodes of Conan, lols! The only time I stepped out from my little own world is the day before yesterday. When my colleagues(used to be) asked me to go out for late dinner, it's approximate 10 in the night! So, we decided to go Geylang for my favourite frog porridge (:

To be honest, my life is way too boring to be written into a proper post. But I tried my best to keep this blog alive. I'm a lousy writer, I couldn't express my thoughts and feelings like how the others did. I just want to capture those little memories of mine.

Life is a joke to me. It seems like when you want someone, they don't want you. And when someone wants you, you don't want them. And when you both want each other, something has to come around and mess it up.

I hate getting to close to people, because when I thought they would always be there for me, they eventually leave.

I miss how happy I was with you

2011-04-08T20:09:00.003+08:00

我希望你幸福，因为那是我最大的心愿。我又怕你幸福，因为那样你就会忘了我。
I regret the things I didn't do when I had the chance.... I miss you so so sooo much....

Hope for the hopeless

2011-04-07T20:32:00.002+08:00

Had fever ever since I came back from Bugis yesterday. Mum said I'm now starting to grow my very first wisdom tooth. Although painful swelling should be expected, I lost my appetite for food ): My only craving now is frog porridge...

I'm so freaking hungry! Yet the pain is killing me. How how? ):

不打扰，是我唯一可以送给你的礼物。

2011-04-06T10:03:00.006+08:00

Meet baobei around noon time yesterday, and we had Thai Express for lunch. After that rush to SSDC to register for my FTT. Omg, I flip through few of the pages, I think I wouldn't have any hope in passing the test. Anyway, I still have 2months to memorise everything. Good luck to me (:

So, after took my pay, I accompany K to Macpherson, I fell down twice along the way ): What an unlucky day.... Saw someone along the way, it makes me think of him........ Message Qinaide after that, and decided to go over to meet her. We had h2h talk, lots of things, people were mentioned. Qinaide, you made me talk about things I've never told anybody. Maybe, that's what true friendship is. iloveyou❤

记忆的丝线就像一种咒语，在每个日升月落将我缠紧，它提醒我，不能忘记爱过的你，我是记得啊，我记得，所以我和其他人在一起，一笑都觉得愧疚，所以我和别人并肩行走，牵手都觉得沉重，我要怎样，剪断丝线，再不作茧自缚。我生命里的温暖就那么多，我全部给了你，但是你离开了我，你叫我以后怎么再对别人笑 ……

"Past is a good place to visit, but certainly not a good place to stay"

2011-04-05T10:11:00.008+08:00

Went to Marina Bay Sands few days back. I like the atmosphere over there~ Hahs, even though I know there's no readers, I still choose to blog. Maybe I'm just trying to hold on to something that disappeared.

Anyway! I passed my BTT with full marks! Amazing, isn't it? Gonna sign up for my FTT later on, before going back to company to take my pay.

Dear shooting starts, wells, birthday candles, what happened to my wishes?

Now it's back to the way we started, strangers

2011-04-02T18:13:00.002+08:00

Happy A. 700D.
你的突然出现，还是会挑拨我的心弦。

I miss you.....
All I left is my memories and your stuff. They said, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. I admit, I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I'm scared of is, walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you....

There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest, your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. I wonder, if you ever had the chance to look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit? I know I wouldn't die from a broken heart, even if I hurted myself physcially, I could only wish I did...

My worst enemy is my memory

2011-03-30T10:16:00.004+08:00

She sits in the corner, singing herself to sleep. Wrapped around in promises that no one seems to keep. All those physical wounds are healing, sooner or later, her heart will stop bleeding and aching too, she wished.

2011-03-29T16:18:00.010+08:00

Suddenly recalled what I posted on Facebook few months ago: being with the person you love is the great climax of life. However, the truth is, climax is the best part of the story and yet the shortest.

I think I kind of get it, you wanted me to get out of your life so much, to the extend that everything I do makes you feel digusted.. I'm sorry ......

关于过去，关于你，告一段落。关于未来，关于我，敬请期待。

他，一直住在心底，却消失在生活里

2011-03-25T00:38:00.007+08:00

Decided to take back my resign letter and request to work all 7 days. I need to help myself if not no one will pull me out from these.. I shall stop drinking and stop sleeping only after 3am at night, I shall stop crying and make myself look like a goldfish early in the morning. Take back those silly thoughts and be realistic....

当一次次把你从记忆深处抹去，又一次次忍不住从思念把你想起

我知道，我总是活在回忆里，我知道，我一直怀念过去

我知道，忘记你就必须先忘记自己。我都知道，但我却做不到.....

爱那么短，遗忘却那么长

想留住身边的女人，就要让她知道，你随时都在想她

2011-02-13T07:36:00.005+08:00

Sent my phone for servicing few days back, heard that all the datas will be earse. Sigh, need to reinstall everything again ): Baby made a crystal iphone cover for me, it's super nice! Somemore my name is on it ^^ Will take a picture of it once my phone is back~

Anyway, baby's book out scheduel changed. So I decided to work on Saturday if I've nothing better to do. Anyone wants to work? My current working company is still hiring people. Do let me know if you're interested alright (:

Jealous, doesn't mean that I don't trust you, but I'm afraid of losing you.

It's longer than forever

2011-02-02T11:07:00.004+08:00

My love, we've been together for 21months! Words just couldn't express the exact emotions I'm having right now. Thinking of my past and how you were there makes me feel blessed. Thinking of my present and how you are there makes me feel contented. Thinking of my future and how you will always be there makes me feel ecstatic. I love you dear, truly.

I wish I could teleport to you

2011-01-19T19:26:00.003+08:00

Went for interview today, and I passed it (: Didn't know interview could be so relax, at first I was afraid that the atmosphere would be too heavy and stressful for me. But it's not bad after all~

Anyway, my leg hurt to max due to the previous job, I couldn't even walk properly for now. However, there is no denying the fact that I learn alot through the job. Even though you might be rich and good-looking at the same time, it doesn't mean that I've to be crazy over you just like how did other girls did. I've only my boyfriend in mind, and I only need him.

Hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow. Jiayou ruilin! (:

The world's too demanding, even I've already tried my best

2011-01-12T10:11:00.007+08:00

Results are out, no point crying over spilt milk, isn't it? I've only 2days left to decide my future. Jc or poly? Perhaps, that's not the issue anymore. Should I choose something that I always wanted to do? Or something that go against my will but solve the $$ problem?

2011-01-03T18:46:00.004+08:00

当我有一天走了，不再烦你了，你会想我吗？？？

某一天，你拨我的电话号码，语音告诉你我已经停机。答应我不可以难过，不可以失落；不可以想我，更加不要记得有这样一个我。

某一天，你的耳边不再有人说烦人，讨厌。不再有人固执的说自己永远是正确的，不再有人孩子式的对你发脾气。不再有人和你讨价还价的想多讲几分钟电话，不再有人在挂电话之前留恋你的亲亲和抱抱。这样的一个我消失了，你会难过吗？

某一天，你的短信收件箱里，不再有人可怜兮兮的说已经等了你几小时几分几秒，不再有人恶狠狠的说再不和我说话我就揍你拉，不再有人撒娇的说你讨厌说你坏，不再有人在做错事情之后悔恨不已的责备自己不对。不再有人胡言乱语，不再有人长嘘短叹，不再有人时而温顺的对你言听计从，又突然大呼小喝的对你乱发脾气。你失去了这样的一个我，会失落吗？

某一天，你的想象中不再有人无论是深夜还是白天都坐在电脑旁等待着你的消息，等待着可以接你电话的时间，这样的一个我离开了，你会想我吗？到了那样的一天，我还是希望你有一点点的难过，一点点的失落，一点点的想我，只要有一点点关于我的记忆就好，真的只要一点点就好。

某一天，你打开电脑，我的头像变成了永远的灰色，不要说我不守承诺，是我感觉到累了，倦了，也真的受伤了。

某一天，你的生活中没有了我，请记住我对你的好，我的任性，固执；我的宽容，关怀。我毫不边际的孩子话，我的疯话，傻话，伤心时候流着泪，无奈时候叹着气说过的话。可是你要记得，我们虽然在地球的不同角落，但是我们头上顶着同一片蓝天，脚下踏着同一片绿草地，呼吸着一样的空气，或许这里能找到你的味道。

某一天，你的记忆中没有了我，不要忘记我们在一起的每一分每一秒，不要忘记我喜欢什么，讨厌什么，觉得什么是幸福，什么是痛苦。而我无论如何都不会忘记任何一个关于你记忆的片断，你习惯什么，反感什么。觉得什么是快乐，什么是悲伤。感情世界里，没有公平两个字，我不会计较这些，我们在一起的那段日夜,会是我这辈子里最美丽的回忆。我还要你记得答应过我什么，许诺过我什么，可是我不好，不乖，不守承诺，我没有等到就彻底放弃了......

某一天，你的生命中不再有我，一定不可以记得我的存在，我的痕迹，因为我害怕你会失落，会难过，会想我，这一切不是因为你喜欢我，爱我，而是习惯了每天的电话，我的胡搅蛮缠，我对你的依赖。当一个人的生命中习惯了另一个人存在的时候，即使没有喜欢和爱，他依旧会感到失落，会有点难过，会想他，虽然我是一个喜欢嫉妒，脾气很大，霸道，更加不能容忍我喜欢的人爱着别人的人。但是我依然希望你过的比我好，希望看到你幸福的过着每一天。

某一天你的前世和今生都不再有我，当原本就不太坚强的我面对这一刻的时候，我不清楚我会怎么样？而你依旧是你，尽管你叹气的时候我不会再去安慰你，难过的时候不会再陪你一起难过，心碎的时候不会再去陪你一起心碎，曾经我做的这一切，你都未曾察觉到，未曾看到，你的记忆，你的生命，你的世界不再有我的时候，我更加清楚这样的时候，你不会有一点点的难过，一点点的失落，一点点的想我，一点点的关于我的任何记忆。

当这一天到来的时候，是我真的绝望，真的心碎，真的疲倦了。因为有太多太多的时候，我都是装，虽然我总是装作无所谓，可是我真的不在乎吗？而你呢？会在乎我的一切吗？可是我会很自责，会恨我自己，我答应过你任何时候都不会离开你。你对我说过，你不知道如果有一天我离开你了，你会怎么样？我懂，我不该让你生活中，生命里，有我的存在，我该默默承担一切。可是我把一切一切都表现了出来，你知道了，清楚了，了解了，可是我却离开了......

It's always better when we're together

2010-11-24T01:44:00.001+08:00

Baby, I will be leaving S'pore in a few hours time. I know I just met you, but.... ): Baby, I still remember all the sweet things you said, they keep me up at night. I know I won't be alone when I'm overseas, you will always be in my mind. Everyone says that a person only fall in love once, but that's not true, because every time I see you, I fall in love all over again. Perhaps, it's not what I feel for you, it's what I don't feel for anyone but you.

My love, remember to take good care of yourself while I'm overseas. I will only miss you and no one else, I will message you everyday just like what I've promised. And, don't skip your meal! Health always come first, be a good laogong alright! Lastly, i love you to the max~ (:

Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you.

2010-11-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day: If two past lovers can remain friends, it's either they were never in love or they still are.

Sometimes you have to keep your head high, blink away the tears, and say goodbye. We might not be someone's first love or even a simple first. I always wanted to be the first one, the only one, be the priority, the everything. I think the happiest feeling a girl can ever have is knowing that he could be with any other girl in the entire world, but he chooses to be with you. Perhaps, it's true that if a man wants you, nothing can keep him away, If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Treat me right, and i will treat you better.

Take me to your heart

2010-11-06T17:27:00.003+08:00

Basically, I wish that you loved me. I wish that you needed me. I wish that you knew what i wanted. I wish that without me your heart would break. I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake. I wish that without me you couldn't eat.I wish that I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep. Yes, I'm selfish, so?

You make it easier when life gets hard

2010-11-05T19:33:00.004+08:00

Just a random update. O'level is going to end in a week's time, it's like, so fast?! After studied for 4 years, it's only that few days matters. Anyway, I've been enjoying my life recently(: I realised, if we let ourself be stressed, we get pimples. If we frown, we get wrinkles. So, just smile and get dimples~

But sometimes, I don't get it, do you? When I say I'm fine, I'm lying. And that's the time when I need you the most. That's when I need you to tell me everything will be okay and that's when i need you to tell me how much you love me. Wish that I wasn't so insecure.

Will you be there for me tomorrow? The day after? For all time?

2010-11-02T14:09:00.004+08:00

Yay, few more papers to go before O'level ends! I enjoy going to school, but not waking up early. I love to study, but not taking tests and exams. I've been having these terrible nightmares almost every night. Bet my eye bags and dark circles do show. But thank god that there's always someone who's supporting me. Mummy keep telling me that don't worry about the results, just do your best and everything will be fine. Hope I won't let her down(:AND! I simply love this picture to maxxx~ So sweet^^

2010-08-20T23:32:00.003+08:00

I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE LIES TO YOU AND YOU ALREADY KNOW THE TRUTH. Yes, that's the part that really pissed me off. If you don't appreciate what I'm doing, just get out of my sight! I will never make myself look like a fool again, especially infront of you.

Sigh, forget it. I shall just carry on with my life. Anyway, this post had nothing related to the picture above, I just feel like posting this picture, it's one of my favourite now (:

All I need is you needing me

2010-08-18T20:27:00.006+08:00

Just a random update, though I know there will not be any readers visiting this dead blog anymore. Just had my English oral today, it wasn't that difficult, or should I say it was rather easy? Nah, don't be too complacent.

Alright, I've decided to blog because I'm feeling extremely miserable right now. I had tons of other school exam papers together with upcoming three tests waiting for me to study. And the part that's killing thousands and millions of my brain cells was my birthday day celebration. Shouldn't birthday be something that everyone suppose to look forward to, why I hate it so much ):

................& imissyou

When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most

2010-07-27T18:46:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable now!!! I swear this sickness is killing me. I'm feeling cold while the others are sweating away, sneeze while others complain about the heat. And I quarrel with my mum because of some small little issues.... So, I ate Panadols with an totally empty stomach, and I could feel the effect now... Awwww, I want to eat steamboat ):

No goodbyes, just see you later

2010-07-23T20:57:00.007+08:00

It's Jay Chou's concert tonight !!! 预祝我亲爱的【周杰伦】演唱会成功~

I know I've neglected this blog for like weeks, I'm sooo sorry ): Just ended my prelim 1 exam, only got back some of my results. Believe it or not, I improved 8grades for maths! But at the same time, it shows how badly I performed for midyear. O'lvl is just less than 100days away, I believe it's still not too late for me to study extremely hard from now on.

And I saw a lady while on my way back home today. She wore a super short pants with a totally transparent top!!! Omg, what's wrong with her fashion sense. Anyway, it's none of my business anyway - -'''
Sigh, I don't think I'm able to watch Inception tmr. I just checked both Cathay and Gv websites, most of the seats were already booked AND sad enough, I don't have a master/visa card with me right now. Hate the booking system to max! I'm really sad right now )':

To that someone: I'm really sorry to disappoint you again and again. But I don't club or neither do I go out and drink with other guys. I wasn't anti-social, I just care about how he feels more than anyone else's feeling, and that's all. Hope you will understand (:

Fever

2010-07-06T21:25:00.004+08:00

Went back home during geography lesson today . Nearly faint on my way back home , I just felt that the world is spinning nonstop . Slept for the whole afternoon , my skin still remain as burning hot , it seems like all those medicines will never work on me . Whenever I'm feeling mad uncomfortable , I will keep asking my mum , will I die if my temperature refuse to drop . Lols , wish myself to recover soon (:

Today , I will be happy

2010-07-04T01:45:00.002+08:00

How many tears does it take to realise that I don't need someone to make me happy . I'm going to do whatever I want today . Buy my favourite food , shop at my own speed , go wherever I want . Perhaps , eat those things which I wanted to eat for very long , but nobody wants to eat that with me . I don't care if I'm going out alone today , it doesn't matter anymore . I just need to adore myself , and love myself more . Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe ..

ZE BAR

2010-07-01T19:49:00.005+08:00

If you happen to go to Shanghai , kindly visit ZE BAR . My father's new company , I like the design (:

I'm a happy girl

2010-06-29T21:19:00.006+08:00

Overdue photos ~ Hahs , I feel soooooo happy right now ^^ Things stop going against my will , and I'm able to relax a little at last . Today was the first paper for prelim 1 , it was still manageable . Anyway , I will be sitting next to Erwin again ! Kind of happy cause he always help me here and there , trying to improve my academic results . Last but not least , I'm really happy now ! :D

I need you now

2010-06-28T22:25:00.004+08:00

"Everyone says love hurts , but that is not true . Loneliness hurts .Rejection hurts . Losing someone hurts . Envy hurts . Jealousy hurts . Everyone gets these things confused with love . But in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again ."

Sometimes memories are better forgotten , cause they're too hard to even bear

2010-06-25T20:22:00.007+08:00

Went back to school for dance's talent night yesterday. I swear it was extremely scary to walk alone in the empty street near midnight . Somemore , there was a group of guys nearby which I believe they're already drunk . At that moment , I really wished I wasn't alone , I wished someone was there with me ...
Far too often I hold on to things that I don't want and don't need . Be it negative things or upsetting things . In fact all those small little things that make my life more difficult than it needs to be . Yet for one reason or another , I cling tightly to those discouraging and disabling tendencies . Why on earth do I hang on to something that constantly keep me upset and on edge ? Why do I keep all sorts of things bottled up inside of me . Maybe it's time to let go , and free myself ......

My love

2010-06-24T09:52:00.004+08:00

I've been eating Macdonald for the past few meals , 24/7 delivery simply help those lazy people like me trunks lots ! I swear I'm gonna to finish at least 3/4 of my homeworks by today , I'm not going to leave my house before 5:30pm , I'm not going to chat with people in Internet whenever I feels bored , I'm not going to spend time to visit some pretty girl's blog , I'm not going to ..... Lols , anyway , I'm entertaining myself right now , as my blog was already privated . Need to go back school for Talents' Night later , what to wear ):

Dreamt of baby yesterday night again , i freaking miss him now ..

Just another lonely night

2010-06-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Decided to private my blog at last , since I'm not updating it that frequently anymore . I think I've wasted alot of time on things that are meaningless . It's getting harder and harder to find a purpose everytime I wake up , I just feel like , sleep throughout my whole life . I don't care if there's anyone care for me , love me . No need to work so hard just for a better tomorrow . No need to differentiate who's true and who's fake ... Now , it's every weekend that I'm looking forward to ..

Only you

2010-06-12T22:08:00.001+08:00

After baby went into NS , all the "no more" :
- Pizza hut , chicken soup
- Snow ice , chocolate & mango favourite
- Movies
- Photographs
- SpongeBob ( Hahs , surprised ? )
- Shopping , Orchard & Bugis
- Long calls & messages
- Totally no post from him in private blog (!)

Shall stop here , if not the list will go endless - -'''

Lonesome

2010-06-07T20:54:00.001+08:00

Till now , I still believe in soul mates , and love that never ends . But yet , sometimes I feel like I'm the only single person alive. I feel so alone . No matter what I try to do , I'm left in solitude . Maybe I try too hard , maybe I'm really hopeless ...

You need to know

2010-06-04T22:17:00.003+08:00

Everyone deserves love without terms and conditions
Everyone has the right to live their life the way they want
Everyone has the right to be happy without feeling guilty
No one is not good enough for healthy love
No one has the right to hurt anyone
Everyone can be happy
Everyone feels alone and lost sometimes
It's okay to be yourself
It's okay to do what you want to do
It's okay to be happy with yourself , your life
It's okay to say no
You need to be honest , with everyone else and yourself
Live your life , be honest , love everyone and everything
You can don't listen to anyone but yourself
You can have it if you want it bad enough

2010-05-28T07:59:00.003+08:00

Help to click on my nuffnang ads . Thank you ! ^^

我发了疯似的想你

2010-05-25T18:20:00.003+08:00

Had X-country run today . Omg ! It's not the run that matters , it's the distance we have to walk back from Sembawang park to Sun Plaza . Reached home around 1plus , bathed and slept for the whole afternoon . Now feel like vomiting and my whole body's like burning . Don't tell me I kana heat stroke - -'' Should I go to school tomorrow ? Sec 2 river trail , need to be facilitator again ..
When I miss you , sometimes I listen to music or look at pictures of you , not to remind me the absent of you but to make me feel as if I'm with you . It makes me forget the distance and capture you . Baby , I miss you terribly today ... Only you will understand how I feel , and comfort me using your own way . I miss you badly baby ):

2010-05-22T08:39:00.006+08:00

TODAY : 罗志祥の舞法舞天演唱会

( picture from QinAiDe's qzone )

Even though he's not my favourite singer , but fall in love with his old song "搞笑" recently . QinAide : 希望你老公记得你，今晚来个烂漫的重逢吧~ Actually , today suppose to meet C and have a lunch or something together , since he came all the way to S'pore . However , I'm way toooo lazy . Hmms , we can still meet each other few months later isn't it , it's not like , forever ? =X

Readers , be prepared to see something below (:

TATA !

My inbox misses your name

2010-05-18T18:35:00.006+08:00

Didn't go to school today . Was feeling extremely unwell this morning . Fever , blocked nose and sore throat , they all came to visit me at one go . The doctor suggested me to take a X-ray , cause I've been coughing non-stop for the past 1-2 months ..

I'm feeling mad uncomfortable now .. Should I just eat my medicine and go to sleep , or delay the timing till baby call me ? Sometimes you have to try not to care , no matter how much you do , because sometimes you are not as important as compare to someone who means so much to you . It's not pride , it's self-respect .

The absent of him is everywhere I look

2010-05-17T17:50:00.005+08:00

To passerby : Thanks for your advice , I will try to put more words down next time (: But do appreciate my way of blogging just like what xiaoyu had mentioned . Sometimes the best thing about pictures is that they don't change , even if feelings do . And for your information , I'm not a good writer , so .. Sorry ):

To xiaoyu : I'm really glad that I've a reader like you (: Thanks for your words , each and every one of them . Even though we might not know each other in real life , your words do encourage me . At least I know , there're people reading my blog , and they do understand how I feel . Thanks alot ^^

To giraffe : Please appreciate pictures (: They mean something to those people who cares . If you don't understand the meaning inside it , keep these comments to yourself ? I don't think they're very nice .

Kindly click on my nuffnang (:

2010-05-13T17:27:00.001+08:00

Whatever you do , good or bad , people will always have something negative to say .

Where's my motivation

2010-05-12T21:57:00.003+08:00

Yishun Town , the best autonomous school ever ! Started E^cube camp right after mid-year exams , with MT intensive . If you're wondering what E^cube camp is . Well , it's just normal lessons with long schedule , late dismissal time , endless mock papers and hot classrooms .

I'm gonna to give up sooner or later . Please connect me with an external hard disk , my internal memory had already filled to the brim ): I seriously need some motivation ...

Mother's Day

2010-05-10T19:52:00.006+08:00

I love you mummy ! (:

I fill these empty spaces with empty words , just because I don't want to face all the emptiness inside of me . Everyday , I wake up and have this ache in my chest . Yes , I miss you , very much ..

Baobeii , happy birthday !

2010-05-08T07:28:00.003+08:00

宝贝、生日快乐 ^^
有你在我身边，我真的感觉很放心
你了解我的孤独，陪伴我的懦弱
分享我的快乐，理解我的悲伤
好多好多次，就算我不说什么
你也总能懂我心里所想的一切
你总是说我太傻、太笨、太执着
但真心的人不都会无条件选择相信么
就算我不做任何解释，你也依旧陪伴在我身边

或许有时候，我们彼此都太忙碌
但谁真、谁假，我比谁都清楚
有些人，毕竟只是人生的过客
我错信过一次，就不会再有第二次了
幸福的时候，去找属于你的那个他
难过的时候，有我在你身后守候
只要你需要我，我会一直存在

LAST BUT NOT LEAST , HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

陌生城市，沉默的夜，电话是我整个世界

2010-05-06T16:33:00.002+08:00

Four more papers to go ! And I'm already exhausted , both mentally and physically .. Studies show that smart girls are more depressed because they know that the world can lie . Hahs , am I one of them ? LOLS ! Anyway , I swear I'm going to study super hard after mid year . Who cares about mid year ? ( No offense to those does ) .

Good good study , day day up ! ( 好好学习，天天向上 )

10 More Days

2010-05-03T14:00:00.004+08:00

I learn not to bow my head in sadness , instead keep my head up high and gaze at the starts , because that is where i believe everyone's broken heart has been sent to heal . And remember , we gather strength from sadness and from pain . Each time we die , we learn to live again .

Off to study history . Just like what Jasiel said , if only we let bygones be bygones , then we wouldn't need to study history . But too bad , exam branch doesn't seems to let go the past easily ..

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

2010-05-02T09:38:00.005+08:00

♥♥♥

My only regret is not meeting you earlier

1 year . 365 days . 8760 hours . 525600 minutes . 31536000 seconds

Inner Message

2010-05-01T21:17:00.003+08:00

Imagine that your love ones give you a ring that on the surface seems plain, but later when you take the ring off ; it says , “Marry me” Or imagine that even though you take off the ring to clean your hands you are still wearing an impression of the words , always . Owww , that's sweet ! (:

I'm waiting for you

2010-04-30T21:02:00.008+08:00

I don't know what to post , so just upload whatever pictures found inside my comp .. Maybe I should just private my blog , since there's no readers ~

Please support !

2010-04-21T18:41:00.004+08:00

I'm selling the above dress , the price is only $20±2 !!! And it's 100% brand new!!! You can received the item 4-5 working days after you've transferred the money. It's not like other blogshops whereby you need to wait for a very long period of time. Only one piece, so grab it fast ! (:

It comes along with the belt as shown in the picture.
Measurements : Bust 78cm - 90cm. Shoulder width : 37cm. Sleeve length : 57cm . Total length : 70cm

( If you're interested, kindly email to : darlin_823@hotmail.com )

):

2010-04-19T22:59:00.004+08:00

I will fall sleep the next second if my determination isn't strong enough . Tell my brain : I'm not sleepy , I don't want to sleep ~ ... Anyway , took my first Chem & Phy O'level pratical few days ago , not too bad , hope it's able to pull up my overall grade .

" She needed to know that someone was looking out for her . She needed someone to promise her that the world wasn't empty. "

I will , miss you

2010-04-18T22:20:00.004+08:00

It's been 9 days since I last touched my blog ~ Can't really remember what had happened for the past few days , I've a very bad memory - - But but ! Something really good happened ! And I was like , wow ~ Hahs , too bad , I can't mention it here :D

♥ Baby's going NS soon , next Sat & Sun will be the last weekend I can spend with him before he goes in . Sad sad )': Baby , thanks for taking care of me for the past few days . I know I'm very stubborn , and because of that , I made you really angry . I'm sorry baby ><'''

2010-04-09T23:41:00.001+08:00

I'm very very tired , just reached home not too long ago .. Finished all my cough syrup and tussils lozenge , so end up spent most of my time coughing . Time to spend money on medicines again , erhhh .. Oh yarh , before I forget , thank you W & Y (:

The truth is , everyone's going to hurt you , you just have to find the ones worth suffering for ...

What's mine is yours

2010-04-08T22:52:00.002+08:00

Today's a good day ! First of all , I'm feeling BETTER , after tons and trunks of medicines (: And I'm going back to school tomorrow , just like what I've been wishing for . Just imagine that you have to stay at home alone for the whole day , have no one to talk to , no interesting drama or movies to watch . Besides that , you need to suffer from running nose , heavy headache and etc ... It's killing me -.-'''

Secondly , tonight is a good good good night :D Think only baby knows why ( Looking forward to Saturday =X ) ~

People , please kindly click on my nuffnang , TYVM !

Xin Ku ):

2010-04-07T21:49:00.000+08:00

I'm not feeling well ! Very nanshou and xinku ... I cough for the whole day , like nobody's business , and even ............ Nevermind , shall not mention here . My new cough syrup will cause mild hand tremors , that's amazing ~ Ehhh , friday I die die must go school , last rehearsal , last dance training ... ):

@ 3am , I'm feeling hungry

2010-04-06T03:16:00.000+08:00

2010-04-05T21:45:00.002+08:00

Awww , so sweet ~

2010-04-01T01:16:00.000+08:00

This is one of my favourite ! They're simply soooo cute ♥

Just reached home not too long ago , I swear my tiredness reached max before I bath . By the way , there's no 2.4 run today , I was like , so happy ! But still , need to stay back for amaths until 6 plus . Caught in the rain again , cause someone ....... Anyway , I kind of enjoyed today , but not for the movie part =X

" I guess everyone has their reasons for what they're doing , an instinct to protect yourself from getting hurt. It's part of human nature . "

You've forgotten

2010-03-30T21:42:00.003+08:00

I need to abandon all hopes

2010-03-29T20:12:00.000+08:00

Caught in the rain again , very cold ): I felt terrible just now , can't stop myself from shaking ..... Sigh , eventually , nothing come true ... Speech day tomorrow . Ruilin , jiayou ~

At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone or something , that the only next possible step to do is to stop . Leave them alone. Walk away . It's not like you're giving up , and it's not like you shouldn't try . It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation . What is truly yours would eventually be yours , and what is not , no matter how hard you try , will never be .

You'll be somebody's princess

2010-03-23T21:24:00.002+08:00

I'm so so so tired today ! Didn't really sleep well for the past few days , insomnia and nightmare take turns to visit me .. Mum went overseas , the first thing which made me started to miss her was that , I've no one to call when I'm waiting or taking bus ..... Anyway , I might be sleeping early tonight , not waiting , not depending , nothing (:

When's the last time I received messages while I'm sleeping ? I love surprises , I love to see sweet messages early in the morning . Or is there any self-timer ? So that I can send myself a message , and unfold those secrets the next morning .

A reason to laugh

2010-03-22T20:29:00.002+08:00

Haw Par Villa

2010-03-21T09:00:00.007+08:00

I went Haw Par Villa with baby and zihao on the 17March . I swear I won't want to go there again , it's kind of bored and the weather was extremely hot on that day itself ):
Their faces showed how unwilling they were - -'''

Look at his hand carefully , it was actually a hand sign " yeah " .

This was the place baby kept complaining about . It supposed to have 18 scenes about hell but only display 10

We were kind enough to buy this smelly fish food to feed the ~~fishes~~ tortoises , actually not we , but baby alone sacrificed himself .

I would like to express my deepest appreciation to Baby & Zihao for ~~wasting~~ spending their time to accompany me visit Haw Par Villa ~ You can find more photos @ Johnson Tan Zi Hao's facebook .

The last time

2010-03-19T22:57:00.005+08:00

I start to like the numbness that comes with being exhausted , the oblivion and the quiet chaos . If I'm tired , I have a qualified excuse to evade problems that don't concern me anyway . Sometimes I tried hard enough , learn something which I'm not good at , but nobody appreciates . Maybe , that will be the last time , very last time ..

iloveyou (:

2010-03-16T22:54:00.001+08:00

Baby ! Let's flip a coin ~
Tails : you're mine & Heads : I'm yours

Before I knew it , my eyes were searching for you in the crowd

2010-03-13T22:55:00.003+08:00

Time for some changes . I don't want us to quarrel again , I don't like to have silence between us . I swear I'm going to change . No matter what , I will admit all my mistakes , and say sorry before you give in to me . Pride ≠ You . You're much much more important . Remember ? You are always my priority ~

有些事，一万年也不会改变

2010-03-11T23:13:00.005+08:00

Read 《月老》today , written by 九把刀 , one of my favourite writers . In this story , forever seems to be possible , even death can't seperate two lovers apart . He wanted to protect her so much , to the stage that he doesn't feel anything when the bullet hits him . And he's willing to sacrificed anything , just for her (:

Random thoughts

2010-03-08T20:23:00.005+08:00

If I died tonight , how many people would care ? How many people would know ? How many would wish they loved me more ? How many people would wish they loved me less ? How many people would moan and wish they had me back ?

Cherish before you lose it

2010-03-07T20:56:00.007+08:00

Tonight

2010-03-07T10:34:00.000+08:00

Goodnight

2010-03-05T23:50:00.004+08:00

You'd like to have this ?

Or this ?

Prove me wrong

2010-03-04T18:59:00.003+08:00

Quote of the day : Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love . Love is always present . It's just that one was being loved too much , and the other was being loved too little ..

You make me wanna

2010-03-03T21:55:00.002+08:00

Will be having Amaths and History test tomorrow ): I'm trying my best to allocate time , one needs practise ， another needs to memorise . Arghh , my head can no longer contain excess information . Why is all the homework due tomorrow ? I will just leave it all blank , tests are more important , I supposed..

Him : There's only one thing I wanted to change about you .
Her : Hmms , what's that ?
Him : It's your last name (:

Empty

2010-02-24T19:41:00.004+08:00

Laugh at me , I made myself look like a fool . I still hoping , wishing and even begging inside me . Yet , the actual fact disappointed me again and again . I'm just as silly as I was before . Why am I still so dependent on those things that were meaningless to you ? I'm tired of waiting .... I hate this feeling , I hate myself .... F. everything !!!

Dear who-ever-reads-this
Please led me out of this loneliness , I don't want to feel neglected again .. ):

Illuminates my soul

2010-02-23T20:20:00.002+08:00

I just feel like posting , with no thoughts and ideas in my head . Perhaps , I should start doing differentiation questions , or study Thur's vocab test . But , there's no motivation ): I feel extremely tired , my brain just stopped working after normal school hours . How I wish I'm able to sleep right now , and only wake up tomorrow morning . I haven't been sleeping well for the past few days , is either I don't feel sleepy , or ........... Nevermind , forget it ~

& I really need to control my diet already , I'm getting fatter and fatter everyday ):

Friday night

2010-02-19T22:00:00.003+08:00

I'm very stubborn , and that doesn't seem to be a good thing ):

2010-02-17T23:57:00.001+08:00

Forever Love

2010-02-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

Baby baby baby ! I love you because of your sweetness , your kindness , your tenderness and your thoughtfulness . My heart was overflowing with joy . I had the most wonderful time with you on Friday . You baked heart shape cookies and muffins FOR ME ! I was really really touching ! < 我只想用我这一辈子去爱你 > My dearest baby , you're the only one for me , you matters more than the world to me . I love you , and I really really do ~ Happy Valentines Day baby (:

2010-02-13T19:55:00.000+08:00

I'll only stay up , for you

2010-02-08T20:51:00.003+08:00

School was super BORED today ! I don't know what happened to the teachers , or perhaps , the problem lies on me ? Anyway , ran 2.4km today , under the HOT SUN ! Arghh , that's the worst thing can ever happen to me ): And guess what , I nearly fall down from the stairs after the run , thank god , I didn't embarrass myself infront of so many people . BUT , I sprained my ankle ! )': I can feel the pain even when I'm sitting down , hope it will recover as soon as possible , I don't want to walk with a pair of swollen pig legs on chinese new year !

Quote of the day : " When I text you , that means I miss you . When I don't text you , that means I'm waiting for you to miss me " . It's meaningful , isn't it ? (:

Just want you to be happy , that's all

2010-02-06T22:33:00.003+08:00

The boy on top wasn't in a good mood ): Maybe it's because of the stupid hot weather , maybe it's because he's really tired and exhausted . But .. I wish I can bring joy to his world , make him happy everyday , every hour , and if possible , every minute and second . I'm willing to sacrifice anything just to see him smile . In some people's eyes , I'm insane , crazy and mad . But for all I do , I'm hoping to see his smiling face , it's worth for everything that I've done . Belove baby , have a good rest . And jiayou for tomorrow's work (:

♥

2010-02-06T08:53:00.001+08:00

你说、你爱她？
你会不会把她介绍给你的父母、哪怕她不是父母喜欢的类型？
你会不会为她放下你的少爷脾气、在外顶天立地，对她就温柔的'没底气?
你会不会在争吵后主动道歉、哪怕她错，你也不忍心责怪？
你会不会打心底认为、她是天底下最好的女孩，一旦拥有、别无所求？
你会不会在她生病时领她去打针，然后看她害怕的憋红的眼睛紧紧的抓着她的手抱着她？
你会不会'不小心'就记得、她爱吃的她不爱吃的、她对什么过敏她害怕什么虫子？
你会不会带她去看新上映的电影、在她手里塞上一个冰激凌、然后她笑你笑，她哭你哄？
你会不会在她赖床后匆匆上班的早晨、准备好早餐，看她像小猫一样乖乖吃掉？
你会不会在她嘴硬时、看穿她其实需要保护需要温暖的内心，给她最好的疼爱？
你会不会每天都像昨天一样爱她、每天都比昨天更爱她？

你会不会真诚的说'我错了'、'我想你'、'我爱你'..

你说、你爱她？
你能不能记住你们的每一个纪念日、记住今天是在一起的第几天、？
你能不能坚持为她养成一个习惯、从第一天为她做、就做到每一天都为她做？
你能不能在她无理取闹胡思乱想的时候、给她足够的安全感，不会对她不耐烦？
你能不能在很冷很冷的冬天、也坚持送她回去，抱抱她看她上楼再离开？
你能不能时刻都牵着她的手、无论是过马路逛公园，或是在朋友师长面前？
你能不能细心的记住她说的话、留意她喜欢的东西、保管她送你的礼物？
你能不能不欺骗她、不冷落她、不忽略她、？
你能不能为她24小时开机、在她做噩梦的晚上有人可以哄她睡觉？
你能不能不只把她当花瓶、有心事会对她说、决定也会找她商量？
你能不能不再大手大脚、只为了攒下钱带她去吃好吃的、去想去的地方？

你能不能真诚的说'我错了'、'我想你'、'我爱你'..

你说、你爱她？
你敢不敢向所有对你有好感的异性大方的介绍、这是我女朋友，我唯一认定的女人？
你敢不敢拒绝暧昧、改掉单身时的臭毛病、和所谓的'红颜'保持清晰的距离？
你敢不敢牺牲看球的时间陪她看无聊的偶像剧、甚至当她的出气包？
你敢不敢不给自己留后路、全心全意的只做她的 Superman ？
你敢不敢在她发脾气骂你滚开时候紧紧的抱住她求饶？
你敢不敢在兄弟说你窝囊的时候仍然拉着她的手说'我就贱贱的、爱咋咋的'?
你敢不敢抱着她睡觉却什么也不做、哪怕歪念头已经占了上风？
你敢不敢为她努力、把自己变的成熟稳重优秀、然后一如既往的爱她？
你敢不敢有点儿长性、别得到了就不珍惜，若即若离你才得劲儿？
你敢不敢经常抱抱她亲亲她、让她觉得她在你眼里总是可爱、觉得你一直喜欢她需要她？

你敢不敢真诚的说'我错了'、'我想你'、'我爱你'..

你会么、你能么、你敢么？
你·爱·她·么、？

Beautiful Love

2010-02-01T21:40:00.001+08:00

Baby , it's our 9 months anniversary tomorrow ! I know it's been long since I last dedicated a post for you in my public blog . Baby , time flies whenever I'm with you , it seems like I've know you for years . You know what I want without me telling you . Fate brought us together , and I believe we're meant to be together . Do you still remember the lyrics for "beautiful love" ? < 我失去过，更珍惜拥有> Baby , I treasure you even more this time round . I know how important you're to me , how incomplete I'm without you . With you around , I feel secure . You really take good care of me when you're beside me , share my secrets . I know I can rely on you , trust you whole heartly . Baby , I really hope I can be the one stay next to you forever . No matter what happens in the near future , remember I will always love you . I swear (:

Will you remember ?

2010-01-31T08:24:00.005+08:00

I'm not in a good mood now . So YOU , please stop message me and irritate me further , I'm already pissed off by you ! Trust me , I'm not going to believe you ever again , you this BIG liar !

Anyway , shopped like crazy yesterday , but I couldn't get myself anything . Unbelievable right ? I don't know where to buy my dress already . Anyone has any nice shops to introduce ? Please kindly leave me a tag (:

You left her behind

2010-01-30T07:55:00.009+08:00

It's my favourite Saturday again ! My whole body start aching after yesterday's intensive dance training . Had a nice chat with family just now , mum helped me choose what to wear tomorrow , so sweet ^^ But with that outfit , where should I go tomorrow ? Lols ~

Going out later , will be going to Orchard first (:

2010-01-26T22:43:00.006+08:00

Never want to be alone in darkness

I realised , I haven't been put in enough work , haven't start to study hard , haven't got the urgency inside me ! But just like what the others told me , it's still not too late . I still have months to buck up , before I regret like nobody's business ~ There will always be problems when it comes to study , I simply can't cope with the stress level . But I'm not alone . I just need to find myself a motivation , and work towards my goal . Term test was over , I can't changed the marks , but I can work hard for the coming MYE . Have faith in myself , I can do it (:

Little faith brightens a rainy day , life is difficult I can't go away ..

2010-01-25T20:43:00.002+08:00

I feel like giving up , I'm really really tired ..

2010-01-21T19:20:00.003+08:00

Love Me ;

Only managed to sleep 2hours yesterday night . I don't know what happened to me , but .. Anyway , I hate nightmares , they made me went crazy over something that's not real , and cried like a mad woman . Nothing to blog about school , everyday's same . Only left 4 papers to go ( phy , chem , amaths & p.geo ) ~

If you get there before I do , don't give up on me

2010-01-21T00:01:00.004+08:00

It's when forever isn't enought

Sigh , I can't sleep ):
* I think I miss you more than what I expected .. *

2010-01-16T10:17:00.004+08:00

I'm trying my luck to make you smile

Thousand of years since I last edited my photos . So here it's , with my edited photos ! (: Woke up extremely early this morning , around 5-6 plus , I was feeling cold . Slept in the living room yesterday night and perhaps for the next two days as well . Even though I've covered myself with thick blanket , my hands and legs were still suffering from icy cold feeling ~ Arghh , there goes my effect of the medicine , my stomach became even more cramp than before .

Next week I will be having term test , was like , so fast ?! People from 4e7 , jiayou and goodluck ! ~

2010-01-14T21:54:00.002+08:00

Limlisheng , iloveyou ! (:

I learned the real meaning of love , love is absolute loyalty. People fade , looks fade , but only loyalty never . You can depend so much on certain people , you can love like you've never been hurt , because of that special someone ~

2010-01-11T22:59:00.004+08:00

I had convinced myself

Went to fly kite with baby and his family last Sunday . It was really hot ! And I sweat alot alot alot ): But we managed to bring the kite to the sky for a little while ~

I named "him" hotdog ! Isn't he cute :D

2010-01-08T22:30:00.005+08:00

We always ignore the ones who adore us , and adore the ones who ignore us

First week of school was miserable ! Need to stay up late to finish all my homework , and woke up really early in the morning to get myself ready for school . Anw , wore Korean Dance costume today , mum said it's really nice ( I mean the costume ) ^^

2010-01-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry @ mylove-remember ~

2010-01-03T21:28:00.004+08:00

True love is when you shed a tear and still want him

It's time to say byebye to my lovely holidays ! ):
Sigh , I haven't finish all my homeworks , pray hard that nothing bad will happen tomorrow ...